The Musings of

Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

If you were in a German Scheisse video, you... you'd tell me, wouldn't you?

I know I've been promising an enlightening post on why Liberal Republicans (or as they call themselves, "Moderates"), but I just haven't had the time to do the issue any real justice. I mean, it's my 95 Theses of Contention, except it is much more important, you know, socio-historically, and, of course, it will never be read by anyone. Not that anyone has read the last 30 or so Theses. Let's face it, they begin to bog down in the 40s. Although my personal fav is good ol' No. 50:
Christians should be taught that, if the pope knew the exactions of the indulgence-preachers, he would rather the church of St. Peter were reduced to ashes than be built with the skin, flesh, and bones of the sheep.
I believe that we can all get behind a theological movement that condemns building churches out of domestic livestock.

That reminds me. Did anybody else ever confuse "Martin Luther" and "Martin Luther King, Jr." when they were very young? Do you still have a picture of MLK, Jr. nailing a parchment to the door of a church in your head? And why are the onlookers all members of Monty Python dressed in period costume? It's just me, isn't it?

Anywho. Like I was saying, I don't have time to write the really important, life-changing stuff, but I never seem to run out of time for producing schlock like this. Why is that?

Funny phone call overheard this weekend:

Voluptuous blond dressed in faux-biker garb sits down at the bar, clearly distraught. She calls her boyfriend (or whatever) on her cell phone and proceeds to tell him a story of how she was just walking down the street, and some guy standing with a gaggle of cops points to her and says, "She's the one who hit my car." She goes on to explain that the accusation was completely false, that she started crying, that the cops were, well, cops, etc. Clearly, the gentleman on the other end of the line is being less than understanding, because she says, "If you loved me, you wouldn't act this way." After things heated up a little bit more, she finally pulled out the money shot. In a very loud voice, she yells into the phone, "I don't need this! I can get bigger [emotional security] than you! A lot bigger [caring and nurturing]!" Thus providing a moment of humor leavened by the realization that the size of a man's [heart] really does matter.

Funny overhearing from last week: My wife was sitting in the airport, when two guys walked by and she heard one guy say, "And they did smell like stripper tits." I miss all the good conversations.
Centinel 8:36 AM #


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