Because

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Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

Much of the rest of the world seems to be taking some glee in our most recent national disaster. Much like jealous Jan Brady force to deal with an overachieving Marcia, other countries apparently feel the need to gloat at our misfortune. Fortunately, I've been able to avoid anger by putting it all in perspective:

"I am absolutely disgusted. After the tsunami our people, even the ones who lost everything, wanted to help the others who were suffering," said Sajeewa Chinthaka, 36, as he watched a cricket match in Colombo, Sri Lanka.

"Not a single tourist caught in the tsunami was mugged. Now with all this happening in the U.S. we can easily see where the civilized part of the world's population is."
Wait, some guy from SRI LANKA is making jibes about our countries' relative level of civility?!? Hey, Saj let's see what's happening over there in your sad little corner of the world.

  1. Political killings are now estimated at one a day, and the Sri Lankan foreign minister was shot down in Colombo 2 weeks ago by other Sri Lankans.

  2. In June, gang members massacred 27 detainees -- and all the defendants walked on the charges to what Human Rights Watch called "a failure of the Sri Lankan justice system."

  3. Rebels are conscripting children orphaned by the tsunami.

  4. Sri Lanka has had a small problem with women being raped while in police custody.
Call me crazy, but I think that if you are going to make accusing other countries of being uncivil, you should make sure your country doesn't resemble a fraternity party with Jager on tap.

"A modern metropolis sinking in water and into anarchy -- it is a really cruel spectacle for a champion of security like Bush," France's left-leaning Liberation newspaper said.

"(Al Qaeda leader Osama) bin Laden, nice and dry in his hideaway, must be killing himself laughing."
What, do you actually think that a natural disaster has anything to do with security? Did this happen because some border guard let Katrina through without closely examining her passport? Did the NSA have credible evidence that Katrina was a threat to New Orleans as early as 2001? What did they know, and when did they know it?

I guess the French forgot about their little race riot earlier this year, their rising unemployment rates (3 times that of the US), and their own upcoming civil unrest. Too bad they don't have a natural disaster to blame it on.

Kuwaiti Muhammad Yousef Al-Mlaifi: "The wind sends torment to one group of people, and sends mercy to others.' I do not think -- and only Allah [really] knows -- that this wind, which completely wiped out American cities in these days, is a wind of mercy and blessing. It is almost certain that this is a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire."
So, when Iraq raped and pillaged Kuwait, what was he punishing you for? Being an asshole? Remind me, Mo, who was it that saved your sand-swept little gas repository? Allah? No? Wait, it'll come to me . . .

German newspaper: "The American president is closing his eyes to the economic and human costs his land and the world economy are suffering under natural catastrophes like Katrina and because of neglected environmental policies."
Didn't the Yalta Treaty have some clause prohibiting any Germany moralizing or preaching about global stewardship for at least a century? This is kind of like Courtney Love lecturing Barry Bonds about the evils of illegal steroid usage. Except, of course, that steroids exist. Look, Gunter, hurricanes were hitting America long before the first aerosolol bottle or internal combustion engine was ever conceived, so lets put the mouth in neutral and write about something with a basis in reality.

Hell, the Scorpions have created more pollution than all the rush hours in L.A.

I think this conversation between P.J. O'Rourke and Colin Powell sums it up:

P. J. O'ROURKE: Back in Lebanon in 1984, I was held at gunpoint by this Hezbollah kid, just a maniac, you know, at one of those checkpoints, screaming at me about America, great Satan, et cetera.

SECRETARY POWELL: Then he wanted a green card?

P. J. O'ROURKE: At the end of this rant, that's exactly what he said: "As soon as I get my green card, I am going to Dearborn, Michigan to study dental school." And he saw no disconnect.

SECRETARY POWELL: He's there now. He's not going back to Beirut.

P. J. O'ROURKE: He hated America so much and wanted nothing more than to be an American.

SECRETARY POWELL: They respect us and they resent us. But they want what we have.
 
Centinel 2:08 PM #

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