Because

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Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Good Housekeeping

  1. If you are simple enough, life can be reduced to a mathematical formula, and I'm one simple bastard whose formula looks something like this: work + sleep + drink + blog = life. Unfortunately, I have seen my "work" scores rise dramatically in the past couple of weeks necessitating me to cut from something. Tough call. In other news, I haven't been blogging much lately, yet my hangovers are as common as ever.

    On the downside, I haven't had the opportunity to keep up with my blog reading as I'd like, either. My philosophy has been to read a few blogs often instead of a lot of blogs infrequently. I would rather find a few blogs I like and develop a close, intimate relationship with the writers than be a cheap one-night stand all over the interweb. I feel like I'm not keeping up my end of the relationship, and I just want you to know that I can change, Baby. As long as it doens't take too much effort.


  2. I haven't mentioned this, but I've added a "What I'm Listening To" section to your left. I know it's been there for weeks, but "Efficiency" ain't my middle name. Which is good, because "Mr. Efficiency" doesn't get the ladies hot. I'm in what can only be described as a heavy music phase, man, and I've decided to let you in on what I'm grooving to. Lately, I've been drawn toward alt.country, "classic" country, acid rock and early punk, but I have been dabbling all over the place. I only have one rule, I won't put an album up unless it's kid tested and mother approved. If there is something I should be kickin' live, give me the down lo, baby, and I'll dig it up.

    Addendum: You can, of course, click on any album and be magically transported to more info.


  3. I finally upgraded my home PC thanks to some prodding and spending by the Missus. I have replaced by '57 "Getoutandpush" Desktop with its 5k modem and crank-start hard drive with a sleek laptop and a cable modem. I'm not getting anymore blogging done, but my porn consumption is rising like the price on a barrel of OPEC dinosaur juice.


  4. I don't talk about my job much, what with Jeremy Blachman covering most of the high points and all, but last week was a doozy. I flew all the way to Odessa for a deposition, got to the attorney's office to find that neither he nor his client were there . . . and I didn't hear from him until about 5 HOURS after the deposition was scheduled to start and I was back at the airport getting ready to turn in my rental car. He had a hokey excuse about misreading the notice, but his secretary had shown me his calendar so I knew he was full of crap.

    Then I deposed another guy who admitted to taking methadone 15 minutes before the deposition started! Despite the soothing effects of this and some other narcotic he had taken a hour before, I still managed to unintentionally piss the guy off so much during the depo that he started clinching and unclinching his hands on the table. I actually took a break 20 minutes in the damn thing because he was clearly thinking about coming over the table at me. I had 50 lbs. on the guy, but I don't want to appear in front of a judge and explain why I beat the crap out of the opposition party with the 2005 Edition of the Federal Civil Judicial Procedure and Rules That said, you can only imagine how informative that deposition was. I swear he said, "I don't remember" over 500 times.

    The best was when he tried to get a rise out of me. I'd been asking him about his ability to work (he's a former laborer now on social security disability) and at the end of the line of questioning I asked him what jobs he felt he could do. He gave a harsh laugh, looked at his wife and said, "Maybe I could do yours." What, and trade away a fulfilling life of sitting at home on disability watching "Hawaii Five-O" marathons and eating frozen pizza?


  5. I watched the Dukes of Hazzard for the first time in probably 20 years last week. How the hell did they take such a simple cast in such a simple backdrop and keep that show fresh and original? I mean, it was the same damn plot every damn week, but it was always done in such a way to keep it interesting.

    Also, I forgot how many times they jump the Gen'l Lee each episode. They must have spent a Donald Trump-ransom on Dodge Charger suspensions.
 
Centinel 4:08 PM #

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