Because

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Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

They talk about saving the world, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

In a further attempt to chew the hard hitting political issues of the day, I give you . . . the Spice Girls. According to the Mirror, Bob Geldorf has released the lineup for Live 8, the "Live Aid" concert to take place in London. The Spice Girls had evidently planned to make this event their dramatic return to the stage -- a moment eagerly anticipated by music aficionados around the world -- but Geldorf, clearly not recognizing the Spice Girl's contribution, nay, contributions, has refused to include them in the lineup.

Look, I know you really don't care (of course, that doesn't explain why you read every salacious detail of the Posh Spice/David Beckham debacle marriage, you cheeky bastard), but there is a pot o' gold at the end of this meager rainbow. Geldorf, in explaining his decision, stated that he ixnayed the ailtay because, drumroll, they didn't fit with the deep political message of the event. Some BBC spokeshack stated, "It's a political rally to put pressure on world leaders and their kind of pop act didn't seem right for this kind of event." That's right, this is a convergence of hardcore bands with a message. These people are out to change the world, and they can't afford to have some eye-candy, fluff pop act water down their vital message.

Well, that makes perfect sense. I mean, music has the power to soothe the savage breast and, apparently, to provide Third World debt relief, so why force children in Tunisia to starve to death just so the rest of us can thrill to the sounds of the world's greatest girl band? Well, OK, maybe we would have had the sound muted, but we would have thrilled nonetheless as we observed the bounce in the young ladies', uh, stride during their performance. Be that as it may, Geldorf has the foresight to recognize that he needs bands with gravitas. He needs this generation's Bob Dylan and Jefferson Airplane. He needs . . . Linkin Park? Eminem? Destiny's Child?!? Are you effing kidding me? These are the winds of change? How can there be true harmonic convergence and how can we bring about the oneness of all creatures when Robbie Williams is singing?

This has totally thrown off my chakra, dude. I need a hug.
 
Centinel 8:16 AM #

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