The Musings of

Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Friday Spies ©: Seis de Mayo edition

1. What is a food you have tried but will never eat again, and what
don't you like about it?

Candy corn. The last time I ate a candy corn I was 12. I can still remember what they taste like, and from what I recall they were pretty nasty. The real reason I will never eat one again is the last one I had was probably, like, 4 years old. I was visiting my great aunt with my grandparents, and she had a cork jar filled with candy corn. Hell, I was 12, of course I ate, like, 10 of the damn things. I don't want to get too personal, but the stomach virus I got had me doing my best imitation of a 2-headed spigot for about 5 days. I have NEVER been so sick in my life, and I've had everything from a broken femur, to scarlet fever, to a spinal tumor. I can still remember the sheer pain in my stomach, and I think I lost 10 lbs. As for any return to candy corn, let's just say that Pavlov's theory works.

2. What are your five favorite possessions?

I salute the BTQ Crew for this question. It actually made me think -- in a "Fight Club" sort of way -- about the importance of things.

1. My truck
2. My '76-model Dale Murphy jersey
3. My 15-yr. old Auburn Tigers cap
4. My Lyra
5. My projector

3. How do you deal with confrontation? Do you seek it out or do you
avoid it? Are you more apt to be the confronter or the confronted?

I am generally nonconfrontational. Generally, I'm just too damn lazy or disinterested to confront people. However, I have certain triggers that up my defcon levels. Here's 2 illustrative stories:

Time to Stew: My parents and I once went to eat at a restaurant that was about 30 miles outside of the city where they lived. It was one of those big breakfast places that drew people from miles around. There was a pretty big group of folks waiting to eat when we got there, so I asked what the wait would be. "About 45 minutes to an hour," replied the hostess who looked like she should be working in a Waffle House. Night shift. Being in the middle of nowhere, we consented to the terms and put our name on the list. Nearly two hours later we had not been called, and I had been steaming for about 30 minutes. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I went in to the same hostess and asked how long the wait was for my party and pointed to our name on her sheet (noticing that there were quite a few names uncrossed above us). "About 45 minutes to an hour," was her practiced reply. Note, we were in a waiting room surrounded by about 30 hungry people. I looked at her and said, "How long have you been working here?" She said, defiantly, "nearly 7 years." "Well, then," I continued, "Are you incompetent or are you a liar?" "What?!?," she stammered. "I have been here for two hours," I said. "When I came in, you told me my wait would be 45 minutes to an hour, it's now two hours later and my wait hasn't changed. If you were a new employee, I would be inclined to guess that you just didn't know what you were talking about, but anyone who has been doing this job for 7 years must be pretty good at knowing when seats would be opening up. As you have not even been close, I can only assume that you are incredibly incompetent at your job, or that you were lying to me so that I wouldn't leave because there was a longer wait. So which is it?" By this time she was turning red and just stammered something incomprehensible. I turned around, looked at my mortified parents, and said, "I'm certainly not going to give this establishment by business." And we left.

Liquid Confrontation: A few years ago I was attending a bachelor party for one of my fraternity brothers in Adams Morgan. There were about 20 of us wandering from bar to bar. After many drinks, we ended up watching a band at the Peyote Grill. At the time, I was working pretty hard with free weighs, so I was fairly big and filled with testosterone and beer. Some nitwit was dirty dancing with his girlfriend and kept bumping hard into me as she swung around. I remember thinking, "If this guy bumps me one more time, I'm going to lay him out." Sure enough, the guy bumps me. I turn in his direction and was just getting ready to reach for him, when someone literally snatches me from behind by the neck. The headlock loosens, and I swing around to come face to face with one of my younger fraternity brothers, Big Mo, who was about 6'4", 350. Mo, who doesn't drink, smiled at me and said, "You were going to hit that guy, weren't you?" I sheepishly smiled and said, "No, Mo. I don't like confrontation." "I didn't think so," was his reply.

4. What will Michael Jackson be doing five years from now?

5 to 10. Ha!Ha!Ha! Actually, he'll move to Thailand where child molestation is tradtional, not criminal.

5. What is the worst movie sequel ever made, what is the best sequel
ever, and what movie should have had a sequel but didn't?

Worst Sequel: Hmmmm. Caddyshack 2. Others -- Highlander 2, Speed 2. Batman & Robin. I've heard people say that Godfather III was the worst sequel ever, but that's ridiculous. Sure, it wasn't nearly as good as the first 2, but watching 2 hrs of Pacino scratching himself would be better than Meatballs 2.

Best Sequel: Godfather II. Others -- The Empire Strikes Back, Rocky II, The Road Warrior, Evil Dead 2, Infernal Affairs 2 and Reagan II (1984-88).

Needs a Sequel: Tough. I'd love another Mad Max, another Indiana Jones, and a follow-up to L.A. Confidential.

Needs a Prequel: Reservoir Dogs, LOTR (The Hobbit)
Centinel 3:27 PM #


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