The Musings of

Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Back in purple

After a week and a half of sublime "not work" and an uneventful flight back to the Lone Star State, I'm filled with piss, vinegar, and about 6 shots of Jack Daniels and am ready to take on the world. Ha! Actually, there's nothing like some time off to remind you of how much this whole "gotta have a job" thing sucks.

[Tangent]: Why do some people feel that their job must provide them with some sort of personal fulfillment? Every now and then, someone will ask me about my job and, sensing my boredom, will quiz me about how much I "enjoy" my job (as compared to what, prison?) or want to know what I'm getting out of it (a paycheck). I admit that most people who ask these questions are seeking to push Amway or some other religion, but some of them are real people who are looking for some sort of "Answer" in their jobs. My first thought is, would these folks be quizzing me about fulfillment if I worked as a waste management artisan? My second thought is, how screwed up does your life have to be for you to look for work to bring you happiness? My view on my job is simple and unenlightening. I work to pay for the stuff I want to do. My job is not an attempt at betterment, but is the result of simple utilitarian calculus. If you are able to find some sort of enlightenment/fulfillment in your job that justifies doing it beyond the monetary remuneration you receive, then I commend you for your luck. Loser. [/Tangent]

One thing I hate about being a "big flaw" lawyer, is that you never really get a vacation. For example, last week I check my voicemail and find a call from opposition counsel, Slick Plaintiffs Lawyer, from a case I'm working with 2 partners. Evidently, our client has done something bad and now SPL wants to file a temporary restraining order of some type. Of course, both the partners involved are either (1) out of the country and not checking voicemail/email or (2) in the country, sick with ebola, and not checking voicemail/email. I, on the other hand, am merely driving my long-suffering wife across the state to visit her best friend, so I must spend two hours on a crappy cell phone trying to figure what the hell is going on and fixing the problem so I don't have to fly halfway across the country to attend a hearing the next day.

[Tangent]: The Anonymous Lawyer is satire -- not very funny satire, but satire nonetheless. Bitching -- which is what I'm doing -- has even less literary value (if possible). Get over it. (I only included this paragraph because there is obviously some statutory requirement that all blawgers must have an opinion on AL and Jeremy Whasisface.) [Tangent]

Another thing that sucks about "big flaw" is the general administrative/office protocol charliefoxtrot that happens to me every year around this time. This year some of the mysteries were: (1) why I couldn't log onto the firm email from the internet (still don't know); (2) where the hell my bonus was (for some unknown reason, the firm doesn't direct deposit them); and (3) whether I should/must show up for work on the Monday following New Year's -- or as I like to think of it, Today.

The answer to the last question turned out to be tricky. While this is the New Year's vacation day, I've been out of the office since before Christmas and I had some work that needed to be accomplished, although it is non-billable administrative stuff that could be done tomorrow. That said, there is a low-level fear that there is a ticking time bomb sitting in my "in box" waiting to explode. My plans, then, were to treat today like a regular working day. However, I spoke to a trusted, more-senior associate last Friday and she told me that no one (read: no partners) would be in today and she might come in for and hour or two but she would definitely be in blue jeans.

Big mistake. She knows that I'm a creature of the lowest denominator. If no partners are around and other associates are wearing blue jeans, then I'm going to be wearing blue jeans. I admit it -- I'm a slob. Sure enough, this morning I slept in, got up, showered, changed into a purple Lacoste and a pair of jeans, and headed in.

My first worry began when I noticed that the parking garage under the building was full -- what kind of holiday is this? Worry #2, everyone around me is dressed in at least khakis and a button up. As soon as I get to my floor I go to the aforementioned associate's office and, sure as hell, find her in a suit! Turns out, some partner memo went out late Friday reminding that today was a "staff" holiday -- meaning that, while our secretaries and paralegals are out, lawyers are supposed to be grinding away. So here I am, two hours late for work, wearing jeans, and more than slightly peeved.

If I can hide in my office all day, I may be able to sneak down to the parking garage late tonight by mingling with the janitorial staff. Now, that is what I call fulfillment.
Centinel 12:50 PM #


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