The Musings of

Something full of magic, religion, bullsh*t.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Quick thinking

With the changing of the leaves, a young man's mind turns to thoughts of . . . vote fraud. Specifically, a number of recent articles (here and here, to name two) have detailed the efforts of liberal organizations and politicians to fraudulently register voters -- a rather ironic fact when viewed with the instructions from the Kerry-Edwards campaign to accuse local Republican Parties of voter suppression even if none exists.

I know that vote fraud is as old as voting, but it seems that there has been an increase in visible fraud (what is likely less that 5% of the real fraud). For every defiler of democracy caught, however, hundreds get away. In fact, things have gotten so bad that a friend of mine who runs state legislative campaigns considers Republican candidates winners if they come within 5% of the Democrat in the general election. He refers to this 5% as "the margin of fraud."

Serious as all of this is, it reminds me of my favorite "voter fraud" story. Years ago, a friend of mine (we'll call him "Frank") was running a Republican state senate campaign in a tough district in southern New Mexico. In looking over the vote returns from previous elections in the district, Frank noticed that several border precincts had turnout rates of over 100% -- much higher than the rest of the district -- and that these precincts voted overwhelmingly straight-ticket Democrat. Being a suspicious fellow, Frank started looking in to what might cause these curious numbers. Several local politicos (Frank was not from the state) explained to him that illegal immigrants had trailers filled with mailboxes on the border that they used to create identities, apply for welfare, and that served as residences in order to fraudulently obtain voter I.D.s. It seems that the local Democrats had developed a little scam where they would pick up these "new" voters and drive them from precinct to precinct to cast their votes.

Frank spent several weeks pondering the matter, but could not come up with a way to stop this rampant vote fraud. Then, one day, Dame Fortune smiled on him. One of Frank's candidate's biggest supporters, a car dealer, invited him over to the lot one afternoon. The dealer informed Frank that a government agency had reneged on a contract for 8 special-order vans, and he wanted to know if Frank's campaign could perhaps use them to transport voters to the polls. Frank took one look at the vans and immediately agreed to use them.

Late on the night before the election, Frank and a bunch of campaign volunteers picked up the vans. They drove them to the worst of the suspicious precincts and parked one right in front of the main entrance to each polling location. Then they wedged each van in by parking a car in front and in back of it. After all the vans were in place, Frank and his conspirators returned home to catch a few winks before the polls opened.

The next day, the phones began ringing early. The Democrats were furious with Frank's candidate and were accusing him of vote suppression. They demanded that someone be sent over IMMEDIATELY to remove the vans. The law eventually got involved, and that afternoon Frank and his friends agreed to pick up all the vans.

Amazingly, Frank's candidate won because of the loss of hundreds of Democrat votes in the suspicious precincts. Equally strange is that these lost votes brought the turnout numbers in those precincts back in line with the rest of the district. And it was all due to Frank's quick thinking.

I mean, who else would have found a productive use for 8 mint-green INS vans?
Centinel 4:16 PM #


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